Change

  In life there is always change.  But what about when we are the ones in need of change?  Have you ever been desiring to change something about yourself, only to find yourself doing the same thing over and over?  Why does it seem that my external life is in constant change whether I want it to be or not, but my internal life I cannot change?

Currently I am reading a book titled You Can Change. I really am enjoying the book, although it is a slower read for me because there is so much for me to process.  Like this quote:

Many people change their behavior, but their motives and desires are still wrong; so their new behavior is no more pleasing to God than their old behavior.

I was convicted when reading about how we want to justify ourselves - whether that be to God or even to other people.  Justifying, or proving, ourselves is a way of trying to "demonstrate we're worthy of God or respectable in the eyes of other people." When the truth of the matter is that when we do that we are saying "the cross wasn't enough." We are saying - Yes, Jesus, thank you for dying on that cross, but I think I need to add something to that.

Instead "we don't have to worry about proving ourselves because God says, 'You're my child.  We don't have a spirit of fear, but a Spirit who prompts us to cry, 'Abba, Father.' We don't have to worry about the future because God has made us heirs so that all his resources are ours."

So the question was posed - when we want to change ourselves - what is our motive? Here are some statements from the book:

• The thought of changing makes me feel:
  • sad
  • like life will become boring, unsatisfying, hard
  • an unpleasant duty I need to do to win God's approval

Do you sometimes think:

• God won't bless me because I've let him down
• I need to make it up to God because I've sinned
• God will answer my prayers because I've been good
• I sometimes make sure people know about the good things I'm doing.
• I tell "little white lies" to cover up my failings
• I feel like I've let myself down when I sin

I have so many issues - I don't fully trust God, I am too quick to anger, I can let my emotions rule me.  Temptation seems to crouch at my door and yet the timing of this book has been so good.  Even though it's called You Can Change, I feel like it could as easily be called You CAN'T Change....On Your Own Strength.  But no one would probably buy that book.  It's not about pulling yourself up by your boots straps.  It's not about hunkerin' down and working harder.  "We think activity will change us....but our rituals and disciplines can't change us."  "Are you so foolish?  After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" (Gal 3:1-3).  I need Him.  Daily.  (Moment by Moment!) And He is willing.  I am ever thankful.